Choosing to Dare
by Keppiehed
Summary: No offense meant; this is supposed to be a humorous take on Jonah and the whale. But please mind the rating and the very serious warnings listed within! Enjoy!


**Title:** Choosing to Dare

**Author:** keppiehed

**Rating:** NC-17

**Warnings:** bestiality, language, the kitchen sink

**Prompt:** "Gravity"

**A/N:** Written for week #4 at Brigits Flame. The boring, literary entry is under JFF; this entry is ENTIRELY at the instigation of 1onewon, and complete and total blame (credit?) for this abomination goes to him! :D I stayed with my biblical theme this week, but I completely changed style. This made me laugh to write, so while I apologize for burning the brains of everyone here, I owe a debt of gratitude to my great friend 1onewon, who knows when to tell me to break those walls down. Thank you for reminding me to have fun with it all.

* * *

"I don't get it."

"Look, it's simple." The sailor took a swig of rum from the bottle. "You just pick one of the two choices. I heard tell of the game from me brother when _he _sailed on the Sea of Galilee, and he said it's more fun than it sounds. Just give it a try and you'll see how it goes. Yeah? Now who's first?"

The crew grumbled a bit and a sailor by the name of Abimael called out, "It's only fitting that you go first, since it's your game, Beriah."

"Whatever." Beriah took another healthy swig and said loud enough for all to hear, "Truth."

The crew stared at each other in bewilderment.

"Go on, ask me something, then," Beriah instructed.

"Er, what's your favorite color?" asked Abimael.

Beriah snorted. "Not like that, you great idgit. Something _personal. _Something it might pain me to answer._"_

_ "_Ahhh." The crowd murmured. "Who's your ladylove?" called a voice from the back. The noise of snickers accompanied by kissy-sounds filled the deck.

Beriah sighed. "That's the best you've got?" He pondered. "Don't reckon I have one, but I think a lot of that Julia. She's a right fair one, she is." He lifted the bottle to his lips to cover his blush. "Next. Jozachar."

"Me?" Jozachar stepped forward. "Truth?"

"Do you covet your neighbor's wife?" Abimael asked.

There was a murmur, as it had long been speculated that Jozachar had been pining for Lois for ages. This was the chance for people to finally hear the truth of the story.

"Um … " Jozachar hemmed.

"Remember, it must be the truth!" Beriah reminded him. "It's the rules!"

Jozachar hung his head. "Yes. Yes, I covet Lois, dammit! It's my turn. I pick … Abimael."

Abimael cleared his throat. "I have nothing to hide! Truth it is for me!"

"Do you honor your mother? Do you?"

Abimael's stony countenance wavered. "It's true, boys, I don't always honor me mother as well as I ought!" A single tear crept down his weathered cheek.

Beriah shook his head. "Lads, you forget that it is Truth or _Dare. _Does none of you have the stones to select a dare? A bunch of sissies, the lot of you. Libni, I see you lurking there. Do us proud!"

Emboldened by the attention, Libni stepped forth. "Dare?"

"That's the spirit, boy! I dare you to take the Lord's name in vain the next time you speak!" Beriah said.

"Oooh," the crowd trilled, shocked by the dare.

"I'll go," Jonah said. "Dare."

"I dare you to have knowledge of a dugong!" Malluch shouted, pleased with his ingenuity. He promptly vomited over the side of the vessel, having overindulged in rum.

"A what?" Jonah asked, confused.

"A manatee," Libni said. "You call yourself a sailor? _God, _Jonah." He smiled, having discharged his dare. He hoped it wasn't awkwardly wedged into conversation, but no one seemed to notice in the ensuing mêlée of the thrown gauntlet.

"But … how is _that _fair?" Jonah whined. "Libni just had to say 'God', for Chrissake!"

"Way to upstage me, _Jonah," _Libni sulked. In his opinion, Jonah had always been something of a douchebag.

"Now, now," Beriah held up his hand. "A dare's a dare. It must be done, or you lose your honor. What say you?"

Jonah stuck his lip out in a pout. "Fine. I'll fuck a seacow. But only for my honor, okay?"

"That's what I like to hear!" Beriah said. "To the nets!"

"To the nets!" was the cry, and the sailors made their way to haul up the nets, which already had a rather serendipitous catch of the necessary dugong. The men pulled it onto the deck and watched it writhe wetly, its flippers fluttering helplessly.

"Uh …" Jonah swallowed. "Must I _really?"_

Beriah laid a hand on his shoulder. "You must. For your honor."

Jonah unbuckled his belt. "Must you all witness?"

"We must!" the crew cried in unison.

"Uh, for your honor, of course," Beriah assured him. "Also, I'm writing a book about this sort of thing. So it's for posterity. Or something. _Not _the idle curiosity of a bunch of drunken sailors. Uh … yeah. So. On that note ..."

Jonah cocked his head. "It won't be so bad, you know? I mean, if you kind of squint, it looks rather like an overweight lady. A bald lady, but still. Am I right, fellas?"

The crew fell silent.

"Oh, come on. That's what they say, isn't it? That dugongs are the mermaids of the sea?" Jonah bit his lip.

"Yeah, sure," offered Jozachar weakly.

Abimael nodded. "It looks _exactly _like my mother-in-law. For reals."

"Right hand to God," said Libni, pleased to have worked that in so effortlessly.

"Okay, then." Jonah bobbed his head, reassured. He dropped his pants and approached the quivering mound of blubber. Where to begin? The back end, surely. He reached out a hand and gingerly lifted the tail, but it slid out of his grasp before he could get a good look at the opening, let alone contemplate penetration. The crew _awww_ed and stepped closer. Jonah wiped his hands on his shirt and made another attempt, but the dugong whipped its tail again and the slimy skin slid through his grasp. He frowned.

"How far do I have—"

"The whole way," Beriah interrupted.

Jonah sighed. Maybe he could just sort of … lean against the side of the animal? He need not try something as complicated as penetration, right? Right. Jonah knelt next to the animal and closed his eyes. He imagined it were a woman, and that he were alone with her. He allowed his cock to come into contact with the side of it, and it wasn't cold as he'd feared, but warm and wet. Jonah began to respond. He rocked into the dugong. He repeated the motion for some moments, but just as it seemed he was getting a favorable response, the animal would shift, destroying the fantasy in his head. He couldn't quite get there. He fell away.

"Are you quite sure that … ?" Jonah asked, frustrated.

"_Quite_ sure," Beriah assured him. "Remember, honor. And whatnot."

"Whatnot," breathed Malluch, before Abimael elbowed him in the ribs.

Jonah stared at the creature. It lolled on the deck, wallowing in fluid and making a sort of snuffling. He looked at its face, trying to find something alluring, something to interest him. There was nothing reminiscent of sex before him, nothing vaguely feminine at all in the specimen wallowing before him. How could he do this?

He'd have to find some way. If not under the tail or against the side then … in a flash of brilliance Jonah realized he could make do with a blow job. How could he have forgotten blow jobs? Such was his relief that he was half aroused by the time he made his way to the front of the animal. The crew drew breath with renewed interest to see his direction. Jonah inspected the front of the dugong. It seemed favorable: there were no visible teeth, and in fact, there were a great many bristles along the aperture of the creature that made this seem like the best idea yet. Jonah kneeled and aligned his cock with the dugong's mouth.

The bristles were just stiff enough to provide exquisite friction, yet not hard enough to be painful. Jonah found himself instantly excited. He closed his eyes and thrust his hips against the dugong, the pressure building. The audience fell away, the dare was forgotten … even the fact that he was fucking a manatee was lost to him. He'd been a long time in the company of sailors, and in an embarrassingly short time, he came. It was fantastic.

Until he opened his eyes, his own breath still ragged in his throat, and saw his shipmates staring at him with shocked expressions. Jonah stood and fumbled into his pants.

"For my honor," he said.

"Honor," Libdi sniggered, then burst out laughing.

It proved to be a long way home. The tale grew more fantastical every time someone told it.

"Hey, did you hear about the time Jonah had knowledge of a sea cow?"

"Did you hear about the time Jonah gave a blow job to a whale?"

Jonah sighed. "What happens on the Sea of Galilee stays on the Sea of Galilee, right? Right?"

"Sure thing, Jonah."

"I heard a whale swallowed Jonah."

"Haha, wasn't much to swallow, if you get what I mean."

"I'm totally picking Truth next time. Seriously."

"_God, _Jonah. Did you see what I did there? Guys?"


End file.
